Chapter 2 - God, may I help You?

The year was 1983, and I was seriously trying to be holy. Only the holy ought to minister God’s Word to God’s smallest lambs. I so much wanted this to be my ministry for the Lord; thus the need to be deemed holy enough to fill the bill. I had just wrapped up an all-day soul-searching session. Had really worked up a stupor after hours of praying, singing, confession, weeping. I had really put my soul through the wringer. I walked over to the window and knowingly patted myself on the back for being so worshipful. God knows I care. Must be why He made me to be calm and listen as I watched the other children from my station at the window. I took up the Cross that day, as I had promised, and learned the difference in being Christ-like, and in being a Christian servant. Being holy came only after the crushing weight of the cross was laid on the very back I had just patted. My will was devastated and God’s will put me virtually in fear’s grip.

Chapter 1 - My Therapy

“WHEN CALGON WON’T TAKE YOU AWAY”

Occasionally I slip off in a private moment of self-indulgence, rare for a busy mother of four small children, one of which, the youngest, is dying of a malignant brain tumor, to a delicious hot bath and reflect, label, and define my emotions.

Depression can be defined as the “sinking” feeling a person experiences when studying the bombed and ravaged remains of a war-torn mind.

Anxiety is when the mentality, so pained and distressed at the challenge to cope and rebuild, the mind seeks solicitude behind walls of intellect.

Hysteria is when those walls and their foundations are razed by the same that built them and the gates that hold back emotion become swing doors left to rust at the hinges.

Escapism is when the spirit abandons the firing line: withdrawing to be freed from pain to find comfort in back alleys with numbing substances.

Nightmares fill the sleep as the mind that would lift into flight is forced to run standing still and wordlessly lasso the tornadoes that fill its stormy skies.

Even when Calgon won’t take me away from what surely precedes insanity, I say a little prayer and know that years from now I’ll look back on today and say,
“By the Grace of God, I made it.”

Calgon Days N Nights

Once upon a time, long, long ago, on a website now non-existent, a lovely story was told of how God's Grace prevailed despite human suffering, devastated hopes, and absolutely wrenching despair. Have you ever known God to lift you up from the depths of sorrow so that you may praise Him yet another day? He does have His Ways, doesn't He? When the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, you will know it. Maybe, if you are lucky like I was, you will live to tell it.

And tell it I will! Stay with the Winner's Circle to read excerpts to be posted about the day Heaven's Window opened for me. This so very precious and privileged moment brought a very personal revelation of the trials that awaited me in days and months ahead. Had I not been forewarned of God's Plan for my life, I am sure I would not have survived the pain and tremendous loss that was in store for me.

If ever a soul was magnified, then I would say it was mine. If ever you needed a reason to believe, then stay in the Winner's Circle. These short stories will be lifted from a book called, 'When Calgon Won't Take You Away'. It is a faith-based publication, a picture-book for all ages, depicting the final year of Christian Dance's life (1979-1984). While he was only 5 years old at his passing after succumbing to brain cancer, his testimonial of God's love for everyone in this world has brought many many people to the Lord. I am his mother - here in the Winner's Circle - to share with you why we must never give up.

Don't ever give up on God.

Your comments are certainly welcomed and your tears as you read are simple manifestations of your love for God.